14 September 2012

Into the Unknown: Of F.E.A.R. and Detours (pt 2)

Sorry for the delay--life has been a bit busier lately:)
The miles passed, the astoundingly beautiful scenery continued---non stop---as we made our way over the mountains. But despite the fact that there was NOTHING I saw that was scary, my anxiety and fear continued at a high level. I had an idea though; I knew how to stop the nasty emotion I was feeling and how to regain safety and peace. As I had said before, I 'knew' this area...
Soon there would be another choice to make---
one road that would get us off the mountains
and onto the safety of the lowlands (the 'known').
 The other, a continuation of the official 'detour' and more of the dreaded unknown.
Despite my protests, my husband had made up his mind and he turned to the right--
the road that kept us in the mountains. He had no fear of the unknown,
even though this was unfamiliar territory to him too.
 I wish I could have felt that way.
  Again, amazing beauty
(these photos don't do it justice)--believe me!
Tree covered hillsides, woodlands, deep forests
(and even a little roadside 'waterfall')--
I knew there were bigger ones here too, hidden away in the woods.
And then we were there---in the realm of the 'known'.
I once again felt safe and my anxiety disappeared (for a.while) 
But what a price I had paid--all that emotional output for nothing. All those photos of the gorgeous forest and mountains lost forever by my need for control; my desire to feel 'safe'
when all along, we really were safe--
there in the middle of God's mountainside garden.
~
There is a time when fear is good; when it is even helpful.
I know this from an experience when I was a young, pregnant mom on a country road.
But sometimes fear is just this....false evidence appearing real,
and it takes a HUGE toll on us--body, mind and spirit.
I know, I've paid the price too many times.
 
And the funny thing is I am looking forward to repeating this same route ASAP,
this time to truly savor and embrace all that is there in that area.
 But it won't be the same...it never could be because of my CHOICE to live that day in the past
and in the future (instead of in the now).
And quite honestly because of my inability to let go and trust,
truly trust that HE is always with me,
even when detours come along my way.
~
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
As it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
If I surrender to His Will;
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life
And supremely happy with Him
Forever and ever in the next.

Blessings,
Aimee

Photos: Oregon's northern coast range.
Notes: 
 From what I have read,
the first 4 lines were possibly written by Reinhold Niebuhr and the
remainder
of the prayer added later by an anonymous author. Source + link for more
information:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serenity_Prayer

The acronym F.E.A.R.--false evidence appearing real is not my original work. From what I can find on the Internet, it may be the work of an anonymous author. If anyone knows differently, please leave me a comment so I can properly credit the source.

2 comments:

by Teresa said...

It look like you found a very pretty road to travel upon. I do hope you try my chowder recipes, you'd enjoy it. The lace tablecloth, she didn't give it to me, I think I bought it at a sale she had. But I love that she made it. ((hugs)), Teresa :-)

aimee said...

Teresa~
It was beautiful--would like to repeat it this autumn when the deciduous trees start changing color. Of course, I want to go many places at that same time of the year...
Oh yes--I am definitely going to try your chowder recipe! YUM!
Oops! Misunderstood about the tablecloth--nevertheless it is beautiful and -- as you said, she made it:)
Blessings,
Aimee

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